No sense of Ha-Ha

A while back, I was reading a story with my PET class. One of the vocabulary words was stern. So logically, I told them if someone is always serious, my mom says, "They have no sense of ha-ha!" There were some laughs, then we moved onto the next word.

Last week, the kids were being a little unruly, and I was getting a little frustrated.

"Seriously guys, we have to get through this stuff!!!!!"

As I am facing the board, these words came hurdling at me.

"Teacher you have no sense of haha!"

I turned to them. You could see the fear in their eyes. I could not contain myself any longer. I almost cried I was laughing so hard, and they were not far behind me. 

It is time...

Here is a little list of things I have observed and learnt over the course of the last 6 weeks. But today I am saying good-bye to Mr. splint, even if it is a week early. I think it has healed as much as it can, and I don’t trust the advice of the last doctor I had, and I am thoroughly sick of it. Ooooo I feel like such a rebel sometimes!

1. I can no longer fist pump with two hands
2. I have a perma claw…
3. My peace sign looks gimped. I call it the peaceful claw
4. Purse essentials turns from lip gloss to surgical tape and liquid advil.
5. Things are better in twos. There were a few times when I was sliding down a greasy hiking trail backwards that I would think to myself, “Hmm a second hand to grab ANYTHING could be somewhat useful at this point in time.”
6. Front braking on a scooter is doable with a little practice. It also teaches the best head banging techniques.
7. Being a hand-talker scares small children
8. The perfect time to re-tape is while waiting for a meal, and it gets people even more curious.
9. Sneezes sometimes hurt, especially when they catch you by surprise. I have learnt not to flail my hand while I sneeze.
10. Everyone wants to look at it and touch it as if they are all doctors. I felt guilty after rudely jerking away from an actual nurse who wanted to take a look. Don’t worry I let him take a look once he showed me his credentials.
11. I now know that feeling of disappointment most adolescent boys feel when they fail to unclasp a bra with one hand on the first try… Good thing I give myself second, third and sometimes fourth tries.
12. I have had nightmares about family members in the medical professions scolding me for not having a bone density test done on my hand and telling me I am pretty much doomed. 
13. Sometimes I follow my intuition. When I packed baby powder in my belongings, I had no idea what I  might use it for. After 4 days of being in the pouring rain, and my fingers being on the verge of rotting, it saved me. It really did.
14. The splint makes it easier to make puppets with a flashlight as long as I remember how to do it. First try, epic fail and the children knew it. I got better though.
15. This hand is a human magnet. It absolutely is! Even when walking with it against my chest through a crowd, people run into me straight on. Hmm let me rephrase: It gives me invisibility powers. That is why everyone runs into me. Silly me.

I keep posting about my hand. I know it is boring and this is the third one, but my creativity in writing is lacking these days. I think I just need to go for some long walks with my voice recorder (I replaced Teri’s Book of Random Thoughts with this handy device that records faster than I can write), or sit with a fabulous glass of wine and a book. I will post things with more substance soon!

Life can be tough

You know life is tough when at the end of the day the biggest thing you have to complain about is your straw having a crack in it and you having to work a little harder to not become dehydrated. 

How do you know?

Lucky for me, this last Monday morning I met with my third doctor for my third appointment and x-ray on my finger. Oh how I love consistency. This guy was no HOD, but I had to give him a chance.

He starts off the conversation by asking me, “What’s wrong with you?” I should have straight away asked for a second opinion.

“I broke my finger four weeks ago.”

“So you want x-rays?”

I am not sure doctor. What would you recommend when a patient is told to come back for a check-up in four weeks time? I was sent for round three of x-rays.

I came back and he started beating around the bush about whether it is healed or not. I explained to him that last week I had some extreme pain, and I wasn’t confident it was healed because of all the pain with it still in the splint. Then I told him that I was diabetic, which could complicate the healing process.

“Are you sure?”

“That I have diabetes?”

“Yes…”

“Yeah. I have had it for 17 years.”

“How do you know?”

I almost fell off my stool. I don’t know. Maybe I knew after drinking any type of fluids I could get my hands on and sleeping non-stop when I was a child. Or maybe it was when I almost died because it took so long to diagnose me. No, I think I really figured it out when I would get sick if I didn’t inject myself with insulin before/after eating. Yeah that must have been it.

Finally he gave me his opinion. It is not healed. He showed me the x-ray. Ok. Now what? Three more weeks of this splint?

He then proceeds to take off my tape and splint. I wish he would have let me do it.

He was not impressed with the angle the splint and talked as if I had shaped it. Then he pulls and moves my finger. Did you not just tell me it wasn’t healed? Of course it hurts. He surprised that I can barely bend my ring finger. Well sir, I haven’t moved it in 4 weeks. It has been taped to my pinky.

In the end he and the nurse decided together they would have a go at taping my finger. He wrapped this massive piece of gauze around my pinky, but it wasn’t tight. Then he put a piece of tape loosely around it, and then tapes the splint only to my pinky finger. I asked if I could put the tape on since I have ample experience doing it. He said no, and then asked me with a surprised face, “You have tape at home?” No, sir, I went 4 weeks doing all sorts of things without retaping my hand. Yummy…

Here are some pictures of what it looked like. It was a mess and offered no support. This guy was a reminder of why I hate doctors and try to avoid them at all costs. I arrived home frustrated and in a lot of pain. I had a nap before going to work, and the pain got a little better. Let’s just say it was not my finest teaching day.

Teri, what is that large white thing on your hand?

What a nincompoop. Not a chance this is going to do anything.

Fig 1 & 2: How a profession should tape a hand

 

So this got me a thinking. It is just a lil ole pinky. Why don’t we just cut it off? It serves very little purpose. I would save myself from arthritis when I am older, and I may even be able to get a discount on custom made mittens for using less material.

Here’s to three more weeks.

I love...

I love how you read my blog posts... Really I do.

I would love it even more if you left comments!

XOXO

They Call Me Pinky

Most of you or maybe some of you know the story about my finger. I broke it about a month ago. I was in Maolin on a weekend getaway with some friends! It was an amazing trip minus the fact I broke my finger playing football in the rain.

I caught the ball wrong. I thought it was just dislocated, but I wasn’t so lucky. This was Saturday night in the pouring rain in a village with no hospital. No one had tape and it was far too swollen and painful to even try taping my fingers together or have it popped back into place. Ice and Advil had to do for the night.

Maybe I should get this checked out.

The next day was a slow day for pretty much everyone on the trip due to the festivities the night before. We had a wonderful relaxing day before heading back to Kaohsiung. The pain was ok until I started driving my scooter. We were driving through places where the roads were still washed out from the Typhoon three years ago. Every minor bump equalled a jolt of pain through my hand and finger. It was a long drive home. I made it back with Laura, went home to drop off my stuff, and headed to the E.R.

Talk about service! I was immediately taken to the trauma section of the E.R. They taped my name to my chair and I plunked down. It was a pretty busy night. People on beds dying in the hallway. Everyone was staring at me. Oh joy! But what was I staring at?

I was staring at the man in front of me in the wide open with a trache tube. His family and a doctor were surrounding him. He looked in rough shape, possibly dead? Why didn’t they close the curtains for some privacy?

A young chap comes over to take me for x-rays.

“Please spread your fingers.” How about I just deliver a massive Karate chop to your neck. It would not involve me spreading my fingers and would hurt a lot less.

I returned to the E.R. to find Will setting up shop beside me! Hilarious!!! A bunch of messy foreigners in the E.R. after a fantastic weekend. All we needed was Laura with her mangled toe. Will kissed the pavement a few times after crashing his scooter the same night I broke my finger.

Will just loves having his wounds scrubbed out!

My doc came to tell me that it was indeed broke, and I needed to wait for the Ortho doc to figure out what we were going to do. I had a moment of panic. I was convinced my finger was still dislocated. There was no way that it would bend to the side like that if it was only a fracture.

Will and I had quite an enjoyable time playing over all the worst case scenarios. But I was in a lot of pain! All around us there were princesses holding their hands, leg, pony tails, and anything else that could be injured as if they had been hit by a bus. No swelling or bruising. Where on earth is my ice? Then to top it off a nurse comes over to Will and gives him ice for his road rash. Haha ok!?! Finally Will’s people hooked me up.

Apparently it is fun to knock knees with pavement.

I look over, and the man with the trache tube is sitting there talking to his family off ventilation! Ah what? I explain to Will that I thought the man was on the brink of death. So random…

Then this beautiful man walked up to me. Hiyah there. He was my hot Ortho doctor (HOD). Fantastic! He took me to see my x-rays. It was almost fracture the whole way through. That explains the bend to the side. HOD and the other doctors were laughing at my story about how I fractured it. There could have been way better stories that could have resulted in a fractured pinky. Maybe they were laughing because they thought I was some crazy, foreign girl.

Crick, and it was broke, and dat was dat.

He told me they had to put a piece of metal to hold my finger in place. Excuse me??? He must have seen the look of shock on my face because he asked if that was ok. I asked him if the metal would be on the inside or outside of my finger. When he said metal he meant splint made out of metal. Phew!

All splinted up!

Finally HOD splinted my finger up, wrote me a prescription, and sent me on my way with a follow up appointment in three days. My finger hurt prior to the E.R. visit, but I was not prepared for the pain when they forced my pinky together with my other finger. Damn!!!

I would like to introduce you to the Permaclaw!

The next couple days were spent doing a tiny little tasks then having to take a break or nap depending on where I was. I was exhausted and sore! They had only given me T2s for the pain management. Fail! I was pretty excited about the bruising though! I never bruise and here I had a rainbow on my hand!

My camera sucks at catching bruises. This is post scrubbing of the nasty hand.

I arrived at my follow-up over an hour early. Whoops. A nice man helped me and offered to translate the patient information sheet for me while he was waiting for his mother to be seen.

“Are you single or married?”

“I am single”

“Do you live by yourself?”

“Yes.”

“Who takes care of you?”

“I take care of myself”

“Oh?”

This was on the actual questionnaire. He checked off boxes after each of my answers.

I looked into the office. There was the cranky nurse and some other doctor. I began wearing my sad face. Where was HOD? Then he came strolling through the waiting room. I went in to see him, and he went through all my medical history.

“You are diabetic too?”

Yes, I know! I am a mess. J

He explained because my finger was crooked, they might have to put a pin in it if the splint didn’t hold it straight. What about the Philippines? I crossed all my available fingers as I went for round 2 of x-rays. I returned to his office, but the other doctor was there. Bah humbug. The new doctor told me the new splint was holding my finger in place! Yay, no surgery.

Now to book an appointment in 4 weeks. He only had appointments for the afternoons. I explained that I worked in the afternoon and mornings would be the only time that would work for me. He gave me bad news. I would have to see the “other doctor.” Oh shucks. Another appointment with HOD. I lied and said it would be alright.

Tomorrow is the big day when I find out if it is healed yet. I would like to say that I will walk out of the hospital with bendy, nimble fingers, but I really don’t think it is healed yet. We shall see though. Being back at work this past week has been extremely painful because I keep using my hand without realizing it. Everyone keeps telling me to put my kids to work. I think I might this week… Suckers!

Luckily I have great friends who help me blend in with a crowd.

I survived...

My adventures to the Philippines was beyond amazing. I did the first week myself. Hiked through parts of the North before I headed South. The following is a video I took after my insane hike to Batad. You can tell it was a long, long day because I couldn't even form proper sentences. For instance, it is "Banueeeeeee Junction" not "Banow crossroads!" Whoops. 

I am extremely proud of myself. I am not sure how I did it, but I survived even with a freshly broken finger. 

I asked my guide at the end of it all if he thought I would actually be able to do it, and he responded with a laugh and a "no." 

BUT I DID!!! And it is something I will never forget!